I remember after my Dad passed away, twenty-one years ago, that I envisioned our family like a stool. Initially, our family had four secure legs, but after my Dad died, and after some time to process the loss and grief, I could see our family as a three-legged stool. It was different. We had to reposition ourselves. But after these adjustments (this makes it sound so easy), we would be able to stand. My Mom, my older sister and me.
Now with my Mom gone, I don’t think that analogy works anymore. Not because I feel like I can’t stand but because I can (although hurting and missing my Mom something fierce). My sister and I both have our own families, but beyond blood relatives and married-into-the-family relatives, I feel that we have a stronger sense of the community that is also a part of our family. If we were still a stool, we’d be one with more than a hundred legs.
We called my Mom’s support group, Team Becky – maybe that’s what we still are even though she’s now gone.