Ever since my daughters were born, as a part of our day, we would often call my mom via Skype while we were eating breakfast. I’m sure it wasn’t the most thrilling conversation for my mom but it was such a normal interaction and it made it feel like she was close even though she was half a world away.
When my husband and I would see notifications on Facebook letting us know that Mom had “liked” or “loved” our most recent posts and pictures, we knew my mom was up late, favouring her night owl tendencies. She would be faithful to leave a comment of encouragement on whatever we had shared. We used to joke about how she “liked” everything but deep down we truly were appreciative of her efforts to connect.
Now that my mom is gone, having passed away last September, it feels abnormal to go through a breakfast without calling her. It feels empty to not see her comments and likes on Facebook. It feels sad that we no longer receive cards in the mail from her. It feels strange that she’s no longer just half a world away but actually in heaven.
But we’ve found ways to include Mom in our everyday. We talk about our visits to her in Canada. We sing songs that were the old reliables that my mom would sing to my daughters on Skype. My daughters draw pictures to put in a journal for Grandma. I tell my daughters that this book or that toy or this stuffy or that dress was from Grandma. I include extra details throughout our day that help us connect to the memories of my mom. It doesn’t give the allusion that she’s still alive but the memories give us the full picture that she was both my mom and my daughters’ grandmother but, ultimately, the Lord’s child.
We include memories of my mom in the everyday so we don’t forget.