Day 4: Hope #write31days

“I remember after my Dad died,” I told a friend at the Mom’s Bible Fellowship this morning, “that the depression was so bad and it was so hard.  And I’m afraid of that happening again…”

I went on to tell her that I wanted my people back in Thailand to know that we will need support for the days ahead, and I can’t go back without that in place.  When we live in a small village, with few close friends nearby, I barely can think about going back.  But yet I know we have to go back.  And get on with life and live the life we feel called to live there.  And I know Mom would’ve wanted that. But it’s still hard to go back. And I desperately hope that my grief journey is different this time round.

I want to permit myself to feel what I need to feel as I grieve, but I really want to keep the perspective that I KNOW, without any doubt, that my Mom is in heaven rejoicing, is fully healed and is with Jesus for eternity.

Five Minute Friday (FMF): Help

Help late in the evening while on the road for work.  Help with a baby fussy in your arms.  Help with a toddler challenging you at every turn.

The Lord is near.  He is mighty to save.  He is my Helper, my Strength, my Wisdom, my Friend.

On the edge of a village, I feel like I could be on the edge of the world sometimes.  Who can hear my cries for a friend?  Who can hear my cries for help?

I called to the Lord and He heard my cries.  He sets my feet upon a rock.  He gave me firm place to stand.

I lift my eyes up to the mountains, where does my help come from?  My help comes from Him, Maker of Heaven, Creator of the earth.

The Beginning of Our New Term

Jet lag is over, the suitcases are nearly unpacked, and we continue to ease back into life and ministry here in Chiang Rai.

Tawee had his first full week back at work this week.  Our work week (not the normal Thai work week) runs Tuesday to Saturday, so he still has one more day to go to finish off his first week.

While I’m happy that he’s back doing what he loves, I have to admit that Kate and I missed him an awful lot the first few days.  Now, towards the end of the week, we’ve been finding our groove at home.

I haven’t started learning Tai Yuan yet as I wanted to get unpacked and give Kate some more time this week since we’ve gone through such a major life transition.  Plus, we have a conference that starts on Monday and lasts for a week.  But once we get back, I’ll be learning my husband’s heart language (not to mention the heart language of the majority of those around us!).

Moving back to Thailand is familiar to us, but not to Kate.  She was just over a year when we left for Canada, and is now two years old.  She remembers Canada and everything there but not so much of our life here.  She’s doing really well though.  She has moments where I think she’s sad and misses Grandma, or various Aunties back in Canada.  But, for the most part, she been pretty happy.  She is thrilled with the food options that we put before her, although she relentlessly asks for strawberries nearly everyday (which are really only available in cold season and are definitely not as delicious as the ones in season right now in Ontario!).

I’ve been sick since arriving back in Chiang Rai, and am limited to a very small variety of food right now.  I’m discouraged by this and am praying it clears up soon.  Thankfully, Kate and Tawee are still healthy though!

Earlier this week, Kate and I took a walk with the stroller in our village and talked about the various things we saw, and prayed for the people in our village.  It’s interesting to explain to Kate about the belief systems and worldviews of the people around us, but it also helps me to have a fresh perspective on all that we see and experience and use these things as fuel for prayer.  We saw idols and spirit houses and Kate commented that they’re, “cute” (because a miniature elephant and horse (the idols in this case) to a two year old ARE cute).  But the meaning and purpose behind them aren’t.  Try explaining THAT to a toddler!

But it’s in all these things that I’m thankful.  Thankful that God has called us here, thankful that we are his witnesses in this region, thankful for the grace of Christ (present and future grace!) and thankful to teach our daughter to love others in such a way that they will hunger for the Lord of Lords and King of Kings alone.

Here’s to our new term on the field, to all that it holds, the good, the challenging and the grace of God that will sustain us through it all.  Here’s to the answers to prayers we’ll experience, the souls saved, the children and families encouraged and empowered to reach for more, the relationships built and Christ honoured and worshiped by more and more of the Tai Yuan around us.